Moving away from your parents is an important step that not everyone is willing to take. Someone is not let go by the parents themselves, someone is not willing to do this. But the basis of the reluctance is unrealized “separation”. Separation is the separation of a child from their parents on an emotional and physical level. If the separation process does not occur, then dependence appears. The child begins to completely depend on his parents, cannot build his own life.
How do you know when it’s time to move out?
You want to prove to your parents that you have matured
Even if you make a good income and are the boss of the company, you are still a child to the parents. They will still take care of you, give not always correct advice, insist on their own.
To start building your own life, it’s best to move away from them. In this way, you will demonstrate that you are ready to take responsibility for your life and know how to do without their advice.
In this situation, you need to resist their flattering arguments about economy, convenience, lack of loneliness, etc. But there is no need to declare this sharply either. Find a place where you would like to live, show your parents pictures or let them help you with collecting things, arranging a new home.
You are planning to start your own family
You have a boyfriend / girlfriend and you are planning to start a life together. It is better to do this separately from the parents, so there will be less quarrels, misunderstandings. You can build exactly the relationship you want on your own. Equip your life yourself, establish your own rules on your territory.
You work from home and need more space
This is another reason why it is better to move out of the parental home. For example, you work as a call center operator, and the house is constantly noisy. Or you are a tattoo artist, but you have a small and dark room, and your parents are constantly harassing clients. The best way out of this situation would be your own home.
What does the research say about this?
American psychologists Jay Belsky and Sarah R. Jaffy have identified the following pattern: the earlier children move out from their parents, the higher their level of education and stronger relationships with their parents.
University of San Diego professor Jean Twinge claims: if a child cannot move out from his parents for a long time, then he has a decrease in sexual activity. It is difficult for such children to build a personal life, especially if each time they have to explain to their parents who came to visit today.
Researchers from the University of Porto, Portugal, noticed that children who did not move out in time from their parents had great difficulty solving their own problems.
How to leave your parents without scandals?
- First of all, you need to realize that there is an emotional dependence between you and your parents. First, decide what you want out of life: move up the career ladder, start your own family, spend more time on a hobby, move to another city, etc. Start from your own feelings, desires, and not from your parents.
- Get together and talk to your parents about it, seriously. But be prepared that they will want to persuade you, stop you, or will not be taken seriously.
- Give serious arguments that will prove that you are completely ready for an independent life. For example, that you are already financially independent, or you have a partner with whom you want to build a family, your age, etc.
- Bring your business to the end. They said to eat, take action for this. And do not deviate from your plans.
Be aware that separation from parents is not quick and painless. It will be very difficult at first and you will want to drop everything and return to your comfort zone, but do not rush, wait. Only after you overcome this attachment can you become an independent, independent person. It is always difficult at first, but then you will be proud of yourself.
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