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Our life is unpredictable, it is very difficult to prepare in advance for any event. But anxious people want to know everything in advance, try to play several versions of events in order to be ready for anything. Thus, they get hung up on many unnecessary little things, and when their expectations are not realized, they are very upset. How to stop wasting energy on useless analysis and start breathing calmly? Let’s analyze this issue in our article!

Why do people cheat themselves?

To begin with, let’s explain what we mean by the term wrapping. Cheating oneself is a conscious self-hypnosis of the most negative forecast of the development of the situation. When receiving interesting offers, a person first of all thinks that the only development of this situation can only be negative. For example, they want to deceive him, they need some kind of benefit from him, they want to ridicule him in this way, etc. Anxiety and excitement about the future is inherent in every person, but the degree of fear is different for everyone.

The reasons for negative thinking can be as follows:

  1. Increased anxiety, for someone it may be congenital due to improper upbringing. In other people, it may have an acquired character.

  2. Hypersensitivity, such people tend to “make an elephant out of a fly.” They have inflated demands on others and on themselves.

  3. Touchiness. In any word or phrase, people notice the most negative. They often misinterpret the actions of others, because of which they are offended.

  4. Low self-esteem. People with low self-esteem, are afraid that they will not cope with their work duties, they will not be loved by a partner, they will not be accepted for the desired position or team. All these doubts give rise to negative thoughts.

  5. Perfectionism. It manifests itself in the form of a fear of not being an ideal person, or making the slightest mistake, a mistake in their activities. Therefore, it is difficult for perfectionists to start work, and then stop and complete it.

  6. Education. If the child’s parents were constantly afraid of everything, never expected a positive outcome of the event of situations, then they passed on this model of behavior to their child.

How to stop winding yourself up?

You can overcome negative thinking if you have a strong desire to change it. And best of all, immediately after the theory, start practice, do not postpone these exercises on the back burner.

Love yourself. Stop criticizing, humiliating and demanding a lot. Pay attention to your strengths and actively use them. Read our article “How to Love Yourself”.

Look for the positives. Try to suppress negative thoughts and redirect your attention to the positive aspects of the situation. Train to make pluses out of the minuses, and it is better not to think about the minuses at all.

Reward yourself for doing well in this area. Have you managed not to wind yourself up all day? An excellent reason for joy and a pleasant gift.

Switch your focus. If you notice that you are starting to think negatively, take your mind off this. Think about what can calm you down at the moment? Watching a movie, reading a book, jogging, work task, etc.

Learn to deal with uncertainty. If you have a situation in which you are experiencing uncertainty, ask yourself the following questions:

  1. Can you always be sure about all things?

  2. Due to uncertainty, am I inclined to think about the negative outcome of events?

  3. Can uncertainty give a positive outcome of events?

This rational approach will help you take a broader view of the situation.

From thoughts to action. When you are anxious about a situation. Ask yourself the question, “Is my problem solvable?” Think about what you can do in the current situation to improve it. Once you’ve found a solution, take action. Then you will have no time to wind up.

Image –
Marco Xu on Unsplash

Victor Samlin

Author Victor Samlin

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