The human psyche has many defense mechanisms that help you cope with difficult life situations or get through bad days. One of such psychological mechanisms is devaluation – this is a way of unconscious defense that allows a person to reduce or completely deny the significance of things, events, emotions, people, achievements. This mechanism of the psyche is triggered when a person is at risk of destroying his own self-esteem and experiencing inner pain.
How is depreciation manifested in everyday life?
Devaluation manifests itself at the behavioral level. When a colleague is late for an important business meeting, it suggests that he doesn t value other people s time.
This also includes the devaluation of the agreement. If a person promised you something and gave his word, to do something, but as a result did not do what he promised.
Devaluation manifests itself in gifts. This is exactly the case when you are presented with completely unnecessary gifts. The person who gives it to you did not bother with the choice at all and did not even try to think about which gift would be pleasant to you.
Also, people can devalue themselves. Such people are ready to do a large amount of work for low wages, do not value their time, are in a relationship with a person who does not respect them, etc.
Depreciation in the parental family
The roots of psychological depreciation are most often found in childhood. Often one of the parents in childhood, listened to criticism, reproaches, humiliation from their relatives, and as an adult tries to raise their own self-esteem by devaluing a child who cannot object and defend himself.
Also, this problem can be observed in a family where one child is singled out, the other is ignored. For example, parents or one of them loves only the daughter, and treats the son coldly, or vice versa.
And in such situations, the parents have a simple explanation for what is happening: “this child is disobedient, learns worse, does not justify expectations, etc.”. And in the process of growing up a child, a child develops a psychological disorder, which is expressed in the devaluation of himself and others.
Devaluation in relationships
Is your significant other not enthusiastic about your work? When you try to talk about your feelings, you hear in response: “Oh, it s not a problem. Here children in Africa are starving, and you are here because of someone else s words “? Are these situations familiar? So these are signs of devaluation of your personality and feelings.
How to protect your sense of self-worth?
Try to understand why you are being devalued
What is the reason for this behavior? You yourself gave a reason for this, or the offender has an inferiority complex. Who is trying to establish himself, due to the fact that he offended you.
Don t take the bully s words seriously.
If you are offended, do not look for the reason only in yourself. In this situation, the person most likely has a psychological defense mechanism based on his own complexes and fears. Therefore, do not blame yourself and pay special attention to this.
Protect yourself from devaluation
In this situation, it is best to end the relationship with the person who does not value you. If the depreciation comes from relatives, then in this case it is worth establishing personal boundaries. You can also wrap the depreciation in humor. Thanks to humor, you can internally disagree with what the abuser said and defuse a negative situation.
Show your displeasure
If you are offended by someone s words or actions, you should not hush it up, on the contrary, express your dissatisfaction. Thus, you will make it clear to the offender that you do not agree with his statements, opinions, etc. It is a difficult and long process, but a necessary process to strengthen our personality and relationships.
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