Victimism is the tendency to be victimized. Victim in psychology is a concept that does not in any way justify a rapist, but increases the likelihood of facing a crime. Consider what the psychology of the victim is and how not to try on this role.
Features of victim psychology
The victim complex in psychology has been described by many authors. You can often come across the concept of “victim blaming” when the victim is accused of what happened to her. Not everyone knows what the victim syndrome is called in psychology. More often, psychologists talk about victimization and victim behavior that increases the likelihood of encountering violence. However, this is not about the fact that a person dreams of an attack or is a masochist, but rather about the inability to see and feel danger, to resist it.
Due to infantility, self-doubt, a person is not able to understand at what moment he is in danger. There are also cases when he deliberately does not repulse the rapist, because he is too afraid or considers it useless. Insecure people can easily forgive and forget even serious grievances and attempts on their lives. They see themselves as losers who just don’t deserve any other treatment.
They often talk about the psychology of a victim in a relationship with a man. Women are more likely to face violence. Experts find here a connection with society, education, character. Unfortunately, more and more often women are instilled with the idea that only suffering makes a woman a woman. Through him, she is purified, acquires wisdom and earns that very woman’s happiness. She must fight for her love and “save” the lost soul of her chosen one. This psychology is often found in films and even children’s fairy tales. As a result, the girl develops complexes of a rescuer and a victim at the same time.
The victim psychology in relationships is dangerous and completely unproductive. This leads to the fact that a woman deliberately tolerates a bad attitude towards herself, hoping to re-educate a man with her love. But at the same time, from time to time he chooses sadists who will not change, seeing the irresponsibility and defenselessness.
Victim Syndrome in Psychology: Who Usually Becomes the Victim?
Anyone can face crime, but there are people who are more likely to suffer from rapists and criminals for a number of reasons. A certain set of traits increases the chance of getting into a difficult situation. The “risk groups” include people:
- who were too patronized by their parents in childhood;
- unsure of themselves;
- egocentric and obsessed with their own self-affirmation and superiority over others;
- with material problems;
- alcohol addicts;
- unwilling to decide something on their own and looking for the master of their lives;
- insufficiently experienced, well-read with a lack of information;
- with mental disabilities.
Psychologists offer different methods of how to get rid of victim psychology and start living a fulfilling life. The reasons for this behavior are usually sought in childhood. The problem may lie in both child abuse and overprotection. If parents spend their entire lives solving problems for their child, he does not acquire the necessary experience for an independent life. As a result, a person grows up unable to independently solve problems and help himself in a difficult situation. He waits for others to help him.
Alcoholics also often become victims of crime. Under the influence of alcohol, they poorly assess the situation, get involved in fights, are faced with theft of things and money.
The main traits of the victim
The role of the victim in psychology is a convenient role for many. A person feeds on someone else’s pity and does not realize that he cannot grow and develop because of this. He assures himself and others that he is a failure and no amount of action or attempt will change his life. However, more often than not, these attempts are not made.
Victim behavior in psychology has the following features:
- Reluctance to take responsibility. This is one of the features of infantilism associated with the unwillingness to recognize oneself as an independent adult. The lack of money is blamed for work, the economic situation, the education system, for poor health – the environment or illiterate doctors. This can reach the point of absurdity, even one’s own behavior (unseemly acts, adultery) is passed on to someone else (“I was forced to do this because I was offended, wounded, brought up like that”). Thus, a person admits that he will not and does not want to change anything in his life.
- Desire to arouse pity in others. This way of thinking leads to the cultivation of sacrifice. It is possible to attract attention and arouse imaginary respect only by making yourself a sufferer who, by the will of fate, is forced to suffer from a cruel partner, ungrateful children or hard work with a small salary.
- Inability to admit defeat. There is a link here with the first point. Failures and defeats are the result of evil fate or the machinations of ill-wishers. It becomes too difficult to admit that a person himself could have made a mistake or acted wrongly.
- The need for a protector. Each victim, consciously or subconsciously, is waiting for the Savior, who will come and solve all the problems, relieve the tyrant, and lend a helping hand. However, this salvation is imaginary. Even if the prince on a white horse really appeared, he then turns into guilty, because he has deprived the most important source of energy – suffering. There is no more reason to seek pity.
There may be other signs of victim behavior. For example, begging for praise and approval, pleasure in discussing your difficult life, pessimism. Jealousy and envy are also characteristic of the victims. They dislike strong and self-sufficient people. Their achievements cause aggression. These are all consequences of self-doubt.
Sometimes victim behavior is accompanied by excessive independence. A person does not want to accept the help of others, even when he really needs them.
Classification of victims in human psychology
To understand how to deal with the role of the victim in psychology, you need to know how and why a person acquired this complex, what he faced or risks facing. There are several types of victims:
- wives suffering from moral and physical abuse by their husbands;
- women and men who have been sexually abused;
- people suffering from psychological pressure from others;
- provocateurs of attacks and beatings;
- young children who cannot resist the abuser;
- people posing as victims;
- people with Stockholm syndrome.
The following categories of citizens are more often faced with crimes:
- elderly people;
- people with mental illness;
- representatives of sexual minorities.
To get rid of the syndrome, it is necessary to determine the cause of its occurrence. It is not always possible to do it yourself. You can contact a specialist who will explain all aspects of the condition.
Victim psychology: how to get rid of the syndrome and prevent its occurrence?
There are various methods of how to get rid of victim syndrome in psychology. However, not everyone can do it on their own. An experienced psychologist will help you develop a consultation scheme, suggest the most effective ways to solve the problem.
It is important to realize that fear is a normal defense reaction of the body. One should not get rid of fear completely and take risks despite the signals of consciousness. This will only increase your chances of encountering deception or violence. If you feel you are in danger, try to get people’s attention or contact the police. There is no suspicion-based arrest, but by doing so, you show that you are ready to defend yourself. In case of beatings or sexual assault, you need to report to the law enforcement authorities immediately.
You can find many articles on psychology, how to stop being a victim and gain self-confidence. You need to learn to see and feel danger, but not panic. First of all, it is necessary to increase self-confidence, return self-esteem to a normal level, for example, with psychologist Nikita Valerievich Baturin. In this case, the instinct of self-preservation will remain, but there will be forces to resist. To increase self-esteem, psychologists use various techniques: meditation, exercise. This is not a quick process, since you will have to fundamentally change your attitude and outlook on life.
If we are talking about a child, adolescent or a person who has no idea about the danger at all, consultations are held containing information on how to correctly recognize the offender, how to behave.
To reduce your risk of encountering violence, keep in mind the following guidelines:
- Do not become a provocateur, threaten or insult a person who poses a potential threat to you, even in self-defense.
- If a person has enough physical strength, he may well resist the rapist, however, not exceeding the permissible limits.
- To avoid an attack, do not walk alone in deserted and dark places. Moreover, you should not take expensive things with you on an evening walk.
- As soon as you sense danger or see something suspicious, try to quickly leave or run away. There is nothing wrong with fleeing.
- When attacking, try to attract the attention of others, shout and call for help.
- Dealing with domestic violence is a little more difficult. However, if you receive beatings, it is better to immediately contact the police. Try to make as many recordings, videos or voice recorders as possible if your spouse is threatening with violence.
The pathological victim needs to learn to respect himself, not to be afraid to take responsibility. Recognizing that you can change your life and deserve to be treated well is the first step to change.
They do not always become a victim from early childhood. Sometimes this is caused by various circumstances that have occurred in adulthood. The correct attitude towards yourself and people will help prevent this. You need to be clear that you and the people around you deserve to be treated with respect.
You should not allow the accumulation of old grievances that you can sort out and revel in self-pity. Proper self-esteem will help you to refuse to communicate with people who bring you pain or try to infringe on something. Instead of suffering for a long time because you have been offended, you can simply let go of people who are unable to treat you with respect, set boundaries and not allow them to be violated.
The problem is compounded if you are not aware of its existence. In this case, it is almost impossible to cope with the situation on your own. However, sooner or later the victim gets tired of suffering, wants to change something, but does not know how. A psychologist will help you find the cause of life’s failures.
IMPORTANT! The article is for informational purposes only. Before use, you must consult a specialist.