I can’t stop comparing myself to others. What to do?

The attitude “to be no worse than others” is very useless and even harmful to a person. Comparison of oneself with others arises in many from early childhood. When parents, teachers or other significant adults said: “Look how great Mashenka is, but you are not that”. Thus, they instill this habit of comparing themselves to others, which develops into a habitual way of life with age. Is it possible to get rid of this? And if so, how?

Why do people compare themselves to others?

In some biology textbooks, you can find the following wording: “comparing yourself with others is a genetic predisposition.” By observing effective behaviors, people learn what needs to be done in order to survive and feel great.

For example, in professional life you cannot do without comparison, thanks to it people can:

  1. Get an assessment of your professional qualities and skills;

  2. Understand your role in a team, a work company;

  3. Improve your level of self-esteem;

  4. Strengthen your professional identity.

How to stop comparing yourself to others?

Be aware of the comparison process

To do this, you need to engage in introspection. Try to capture the following moments:

  1. At what point do you start comparing yourself to others?

  2. Why is this happening at this point in time?

  3. Why are you doing this?

  4. What goal do you want to achieve?

Once you understand what exactly makes you feel jealous, it will be clear to you what to work on. People are jealous of what they don t have.

For example, you are comparing yourself to a stranger because you want to achieve the same high results as him. But you have no idea what this achievement cost him. As a result, you are comparing yourself to a fictional representation that does not really exist.

Accept yourself for who you are

Understand your uniqueness, stop striving for some incomprehensible standards. Be proud that there is no such person like you anymore. You are the one and only, and this is what piques the interest of other people.

Waste your time

Comparing yourself to others does not add value, benefit, meaning, or joy to you. The desire to possess what others have tends to grow and ruin our lives. Comparison is an endless cycle that does not bring happiness, but on the contrary slows down the movement. Stop living by other people s attitudes.

Think about your goals

Set a realistic goal for yourself. Think about how you can achieve it. And proceed to achieve it. Then you won t have time to compare yourself to others. Since, you will be completely immersed in the implementation.

Compare yourself to yourself

This is best done in the following way. Take a piece of paper or phone, describe your ideal look. What would you like to become if you did not have fears, doubts, prejudices. And try to compare your real “I” with your ideal “I” every time. It is much more efficient and useful.

Image –
Briana Tozur on Unsplash

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