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The fear that life will end after childbirth is experienced by a large number of women. Why does it arise? Because a woman has to give up work, she has heard many times complaints from other mothers about how difficult it is to bring up babies. Many women are not ready to take responsibility for the life and health of the child, some are not confident in their partner. And most importantly, many are sure that there will not be enough time for rest and self-care .;

Identify the sources of fear

Postpartum depression

This term has become the most popular and every second woman has heard of it. Try to transform this fear to your advantage. Find good literature on this topic, read it. Find out by what signs you can determine the addiction, what needs to be done if it has arisen. Warn your loved ones about this, what role they should play if there is postpartum depression. Enlist the support of loved ones in advance to help you.

My life will change dramatically

It all depends only on you. Remember that you do not need to do something for the sake of the child if it is difficult and reluctant for you. Remember yourself, do not dissolve in the baby. Sacrificing yourself and trying to be the perfect mother is a road to nowhere. Delegate responsibilities, do not be afraid to ask for help, take time for yourself.

Someone else’s experience

Rarely these days you will meet a happy mother who will be all things, that motherhood is happiness. Such headlines can only be seen in glossy magazines, but not in reality. In fact, many mothers look tired, constantly complain about how difficult it is for them, and some generally regret what they did. Try to stay away from such people, they will not tell you anything useful except negative.

Unknown

Young mothers, especially if their first child is very afraid of the unknown. What changes will happen in my body at 6 months of pregnancy? Will I be a good mother? What do you need to take with you to the hospital? What documents need to be drawn up for the baby? For what reasons can a baby cry? There are so many questions, but where to find the answers?

You can ask around from your friends who have already gone through all this safely. Read books, subscribe to specialist channels, go in person for a consultation. There is a lot of this information, it just needs to be properly filtered.

My body will change a lot

After childbirth, the body will really change a lot, the stomach will not immediately go anywhere, and the uterus will gradually return to normal. In addition to discomfort, women experience shame, rejection and irritation about this. In this situation, the main thing is to follow the doctor’s recommendations and not be arbitrary, otherwise it may end in a sad outcome. Walk a lot, drink water, eat healthy foods, recuperate. And as soon as the doctor allows you to engage in physical activity, start doing yoga, Pilates.

How to deal with fear?

Try to read mother forums less

There you can only see someone’s opinion or experience. Which most likely will not help you, but in general there moms love to exchange their problems, why do you need it? In such cases, scientific books, advice and recommendations of doctors, support of friends who have successfully coped with raising newborns will help you.

Streamline your fears

  • “Yes, I have no experience in raising children, but I will do everything to make it successful for me”;

  • “I realize that I will have less personal time, but I will learn how to spend it with benefit”;

  • “We will have less time with my husband to spend time together, but he will master the role of a father.”

Discuss your concerns with loved ones

Share with your husband what worries you. Speak to him, do not hide problems in yourself. This way you can work together to figure out how you can improve the current situation. The husband will not consider himself superfluous in the family, but will be fully included in it.

Take your worries apart

To work through fear, you need to draw a table with two columns and several lines. The first column will ask: What exactly am I afraid of? In the second column, write the following question: What can I do now so that the consequences are not so traumatic?

And then fill out this plate. First, you answer the question of what exactly you are afraid of (for example, that you will not have enough time to go to a beauty salon). And then you answer the question, what can you do to avoid this problem (agree with the mother-in-law to sit with the baby while I go to the beauty salon).

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Jonathan Borba on Unsplash

Victor Samlin

Author Victor Samlin

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