Everyone knows the painful feeling of resentment that does not leave their heads for a long time, because everyone once took offense at a person. But is it possible not to hold grudges on others and walk through life with a light gait? In order to answer this question, you need to figure out what an offense is.
What does it mean to be offended by a person?
This means to expect from him what he does not do or does not think. In this case, you feel dissonance, because how can it be, this person, in your opinion, should have acted completely differently! The biggest problem here is your expectations.
Nobody can know everything. No one can fully understand the other person, their motivation and thinking. Therefore, grievances arise – because of misunderstandings. But they can hold on and destroy people’s relationships for several years!
How does it feel to live without offense?
Taking into account the mechanism of the feeling of resentment, one can draw a prosaic conclusion – the better you understand or try to understand the other person, the less likely it is that dissonance will arise. However, as mentioned above, you cannot fully understand a person in every little detail, and you don’t need to – it is enough to try not to expect from people what they cannot give you. To exaggerate, this advice is as follows – do not expect the train to take you directly to your entrance, unless, of course, you live next to the platform.
How do successful people get rid of resentment and negativity?
What do we associate the phrase “successful person” with? With a self-confident, purposeful, rational guy or girl who will find a competent way out of the situation everywhere. Indeed, this is so, and in order to prevent such a destructive feeling as resentment in your life, you need certain attitudes, for example, the habit of resolving misunderstandings through negotiations. Yes, sometimes it can be hard to report that someone’s behavior bothers you in person, but oppressive sensations will do much more harm to both your psyche and relationships with people. In addition, an adequate approach to relationships as to the interaction of two individuals will also help healthy conflict resolution.
Is resentment always harmful?
No not always. We live in the real world, which means that others, like us, are not ideal. Not everyone understands the language of cooperation and the usual exhortations may sound unconvincing to them.
In such cases, demonstrating resentment will help convey to the person the idea that something is wrong much faster and clearer.
The most important thing is to clearly understand why you are offended and keep the situation under control, and then negative feelings will not affect you, but will only help manage the relationship.
Life without offense is really possible, because in fact, a person himself chooses how to react to events around him. And when this choice is made consciously and wisely, you really control what is happening to you, and this is the main value for a successful thinking person.
Photo by Analise Benevides on Unsplash