Permitted and prohibited psychological techniques, how to learn to control people?

Being in a society, a person, in one way or another, falls under the influence of other people or communities. The position of people is determined by the ability to interact with other members of society. If this skill is well developed, a person will achieve a lot. Some psychological techniques play an important role. This article will tell you how to influence people.

Classification of psychological methods of influence

The simplest division of such techniques is unacceptable or “dirty” on the one hand, and also acceptable on the other.

The first type contains those methods that can harm the psychological state of the opponent or even discredit his honor and dignity. The second type is not associated with causing any harm, on the contrary, such methods can contribute to establishing the necessary contact. Below we will consider them in more detail.

Unacceptable methods of psychological influence

The manipulator does not always set himself the goal of deliberately using such methods in relation to his “victim” – sometimes it happens by accident, with no intention to harm. But this is not a valid argument to justify.

Other persons may deliberately resort to negative methods of influence – especially often businessmen or people associated with considerable sums of money or other benefits may encounter such specialists. Psychological influence pursues a certain selfish goal – while the victim of the influence is confused, the manipulator resorts to active actions.

The use of such tactics of interaction can lead to the removal of the “victim” from a state of mental equilibrium or bringing to a nervous breakdown – up to referring to a psychologist.


One of the most common methods of exposure. Here it should be said right away that criticism can be justified and unjustified. The first type of criticism is considered rather an acceptable form of influence, since constructive and appropriate assessments of the activity can lead to its improvement. There is one “but”: the critic must be ready for criticism. Otherwise, it will not only not bring positive results, but can also lead to a conflict between the parties.

The most common options for applying criticism:

The manipulator imposes on the “victim” an opinion about his excessive authority and professionalism. In fact, this does not always correspond to reality. This type of influence is often used when the manipulator is not very confident in his abilities in the face of the opponent – “pressure by authority” begins.

The second case is a mirror image of the first. The manipulator at first in every possible way emphasizes the merits of his counterpart, but at the same time seeks to catch him on any mistakes and shortcomings, by all means pointing out them. Such tactics are also capable of throwing the opponent out of psychological balance.

The fight against unfounded criticism is appropriate, moreover, necessary. You should point out to the manipulator that there is no demand for his words on your part, as well as shortcomings in the argumentation of his arguments.

A person, as a rule, accepts and takes into account well-grounded criticism in the future. Especially if it is presented as correctly as possible, without touching personal qualities.

Threat and intimidation

The most uncomplicated, but at the same time the most radical way of psychological influence on the opponent. It can mean anything – from the deprivation of any benefits to the use of physical force on the “victim” or her loved ones. The extreme is the threat of physical destruction.

Typically, the threat of deprivation of benefits can be influenced by bosses, managers or sponsors. This threat can be neutralized – it is worth starting to look for another source of obtaining resources: a new job, a new sponsor, etc. If threats come regularly, they should be recorded, for example, using recording devices, and then transferred to the competent authorities.

Methods of violent physical pressure are usually threatened by persons who have no real power over the alleged victim. This should be taken seriously, since the threat to life and health is a real criminal article, which is punishable by real imprisonment. Such manifestations of aggression must also be recorded for their subsequent transfer to the authorized bodies.

In medieval history, for example, the punishment of excommunication was common. This actually meant that the person was dying for the rest of society before his real death. Now, in a similar vein, they can only threaten with the imposition of damage or the use of black magic. How to relate to this, to be afraid of such threats or not, a person chooses independently.

Permitted and prohibited psychological techniques, how to learn to control people?


An assumed form of presenting one s imaginary merits. It is more often used when there is no way to boast of real actions. It is used to distract the interlocutor from the real topic of the dialogue, as well as to hide their own incompetence on the topic under discussion.

If it is not possible to verify the information received, rely on arguments when building negotiations. If a person does not possess the necessary information, then sooner or later he will give himself away – during the discussion, “merits” will not play in his favor.

Rumors and gossip

A form of influence aimed at provoking a violent emotional outburst in the object. This usually works when a person does not expect such a turn of events. This method is used in order to turn the victim against someone (if the source of the gossip is indicated), or to obtain information that the object begins to give out during the exculpatory speech.

Such information should not be immediately perceived as truthful, it may not turn out to be such. You need to react calmly, this will not allow the manipulator to advance in achieving his goal – the establishment of psychological control. Justifications will also not be appropriate, keep outward calm and accentuated equanimity. This behavior can cause temporary confusion in the opponent.

If you are sure about the truthfulness of rumors about your person, you need to take measures to limit their spread – do not pass them on even further. Even if the source of the gossip is named, it is far from always possible to trust the veracity of the information coming from the mouth of the manipulator.

Acceptable methods of psychological influence on a person

The use of these techniques is considered more preferable, since they put less pressure on the self-esteem and personality of the object. This allows you to build a mutually beneficial and constructive dialogue.

Tricks like these can help both in a conversation with a potential business partner and in everyday life: family, street, store, gym, etc.

Explain the correct course of action when criticizing

Do not engage in discussion of a person s mistakes if you cannot point out alternatives to their actions. The best solution would be to remain silent. Wordless criticism can play a negative role in building a dialogue, it will not make it effective.

Stirlitz rule

According to the famous intelligence officer, the most memorable are the beginning and the end of the conversation. Therefore, you should start and end dialogues on a positive note – then the interlocutor will have a positive aftermath of communication. This will contribute to the formation of a positive opinion of you, and in the future, the object will willingly go to contact.

The carrot and stick method

A very powerful way is to dilute justified criticism with praise or emphasis on other merits. There are many people for whom praise acts as a call to action. However, don t turn praise into flattery – it should also have some basis in it.

Argumentation of its position in relation to the object

There is no trick against scrap – this statement colorfully describes the whole essence of the method of influence. It is categorically impossible in a dispute or discussion to move on to discussing the opponent s personality or, even worse, humiliation of his dignity. To conduct a reasoned dispute, it is worth citing as many facts as possible and as little unsubstantiated information as possible.

Permitted and prohibited psychological techniques, how to learn to control people?

Rule of triple consecutive agreement

When building a dialogue or discussion, it will be useful to structure your speech in such a way that the opponent agrees with your opinion for a certain time. It s good if it happens at least three times in a row. This leads to the formation of a supportive attitude towards you as an interlocutor. It is believed that by overcoming this psychological threshold, it will be easier for a person to go over to your side during further communication.

Manipulating people is possible, and sometimes it is presented as a necessity. It is important to select such psychological techniques that will not harm a particular person or his personality and dignity. It is unacceptable to expose your opponent to feelings of fear, helplessness and hopelessness. Much more effective are methods that are based on relative equality, partnership of the parties.

If you have been subjected to one of these methods of negative psychological influence, you should not neglect qualified psychological help. A more reasonable option is to learn how to prevent such situations at the root, advice from psychologists and special literature will help here.

IMPORTANT! Informational article! Before use, you must consult with a specialist.

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