Everyone is familiar with the concept of a stick and a carrot, moreover, many know exactly how to punish a child so as not only to punish, but also to prevent unwanted behavior. Anyway, we brought up the topic of punishment in this article … And how to properly encourage your child, we will now tell you. Believe me, it s not that obvious.
Why praise at all?
Parenting is not only about literal carrots and sticks, it is about building trust and forming affection. The child already knows that you are his parent, you need to show that he is needed and interesting to you.
I. Kant expressed a definition of the word “interest” very suitable for the situation – he said that if you are interested in something, you are glad that this object or subject exists.
However, back to the praise. Yes, the word “disliked” has become an extremely unflattering characteristic for a person in the mouths of people, however, no one can be to blame for the fact that parents did not show recognition of his success in childhood. In general, praise is not only approval, but also a demonstration of love and interest that the child needs so much.
What happens if praising a child is wrong?
If the baby sees that his maximum is to elicit restrained verbal praise from his mother or father, he is unlikely to have an incentive to do something well.
Bad behavior. It would seem a paradoxical reaction, however, in reality everything is logical – disobedience in the eyes of a child causes much more attention from parents who are stingy with support, so this becomes his key to receiving it.
Destructive attitudes. There are many unpredictable consequences of wrong praise, but the most destructive is the pursuit of maximum success. Why is that bad? Because the incentive comes from a negative position, in simple words “if not super, then a loser.” This is also a consequence of the wrong praise.
How to praise a child well?
You need to demonstrate that you notice him, show attention, and not just praise, as if you have fulfilled your part of a certain contract. There are several ways to do it right and organically:
Get distracted from your business and listen carefully to the child who wants to tell you something. Apply active listening skills!
Accidentally, by word or gesture, approve that the child is doing something on his own.
Sincerely admire what the child tells you. We are sure that your children are truly adorable, do not hesitate to notice it, it will only make it better.
Ask your child for help in what he does well, his joy will be hard to miss!
By the way, about what your child feels like a fish in water in – offer him something to do in this area, or discuss the possibility of deeper learning this skill with the teacher, not forgetting to mention that you admire the child s skills.
Express your praise physically – hug and kiss your baby, he will be happy!
Indeed, everyone knows about the carrot and stick principle, but most people think that this is a concept of a kind of contrasting education with the help of punishment and reward. However, just as punishment is needed to prevent subsequent unpleasant actions, praise is aimed at making the child want to do a good deed again.
The author of the article: Testometrika Team