The rules of behavior in society are determined by the upbringing of a person from childhood. The concept of a norm depends on modern realities, political and economic conditions for the development of society. Interaction between people occurs constantly on a verbal level. To make it productive, you should take the advice of professionals. In the “science of the soul” there is a section devoted to interpersonal contacts, it is called the psychology of communication with people. This information helps to solve problems, get rid of complexes, develop eloquence and learn to understand the interlocutor.
Basic rules for communicating with other people
The exchange of information between people must comply with generally accepted norms. If the interlocutor deliberately violates them, he risks experiencing all the delights of isolation, hostility, and often overt aggression from the opponent. Psychology will teach you how to properly talk to people on any topic.
The basic rules of communication are the same for any team – they apply at work, at a party or social event.
If a person does not look the interlocutor in the eyes, constantly looks away, there is a feeling of awkwardness. In such an environment, it is difficult to establish trusting relationships, a friend or boss will think that he is being deceived.
It is imperative to look at the person with whom the communication process is taking place. So that the gaze is not too intent and intrusive, it must be averted periodically, focusing on the surrounding objects.
Parasite words that do not carry a semantic load
Excessive interjections, prepositions, slang phrases are often present in our speech, taking up more and more space in it. There is a piece of advice in the psychology of communication: the excessive use of such phrases contributes to the loss of the thread of the conversation. To be understandable to others, you need to diversify your speech as much as possible, use more specifics in each sentence, backing it up with facial expressions.
To make the conversation lively and interesting, it is worth expressing your sincere interest in the information conveyed by the interlocutor. Here you need to keep the golden mean. If you ask too many clarifying questions, the dialogue turns into a monologue and becomes like an interrogation. If you do not ask about anything, the interlocutor will have the feeling that his story is not interesting. Psychologists recommend not to jump to other topics, to voice questions in a soft and correct form, without interrupting the speaker. Do not touch on personal topics, they can hurt the quick or revive unpleasant memories. Communication in psychology should be two-way.
Answers on questions
Any communication is impossible without questions of the interlocutors to each other. But if one only asks, a friendly conversation will turn into a banal interview. You need to take an active part in the dialogue, but not interrupt the other person. A detailed answer will relieve tension and tune in to a positive. The ability to communicate with people in psychology is a subtle attitude to the same wavelength.
No sense of humor anywhere
If a person does not smile, his lips are tightly compressed, and his eyes are carefully studying the opponent, a confidential conversation will not work. Even if he initially wants to seem just serious, from the outside, the expression on his face looks sullen and even angry. A light smile, relaxed facial muscles promote full contact. And if there is a reason – you can sincerely and contagiously laugh, relieving unnecessary stress. The psychology of communication is an art that needs to be learned all your life.
Unnecessary items are a hindrance to conversation
If a person during a conversation winds a lock of hair on his finger, is distracted by a pen, pencil or keys, this is very “annoying”. The interlocutor may think that his words are uninteresting and useless. The dialogue will turn out to be short, crumpled and uninformative. The concept of communication in psychology is an important knowledge that will never be superfluous.
Down with long pauses in conversation
If you are often silent during dialogue, it will never become interesting. The allowed pause duration is no more than 10-15 seconds. After this time, you need to nod, smile or answer a question. Silence is truly golden, but not in this case.
A pleasant person: what is he like?
You always want to strike up a conversation with a smiling, benevolent person. People will be drawn to someone who has the following qualities:
- a sincere desire to notice the positive around;
- the ability to enjoy small things;
- kindness self-confidence;
- lack of negativity in actions and statements;
- open gaze “eye to eye”;
- the ability to look for only good in people.
How to deal with “difficult” people?
Each of us at least once in our life communicated with a person emitting negativity. Such a person is constantly dissatisfied with something, criticizes others, reacts aggressively to any comments and attempts to establish trusting contact. The aggressor is not always to blame for this, perhaps it is only a projection onto other people of his dissatisfaction, personal and professional failures. Psychology will tell you how to learn how to communicate with such people.
It is easiest to succumb to provocations. But there is always a chance to turn the conversation in a completely different direction, setting even such an interlocutor to the positive. There are several techniques that can disarm anyone:
- sincere interest in his affairs;
How to avoid communication problems?
Many people from early childhood have the ability to establish contact with others, have them to themselves. But not everyone is given this gift from birth. Some need to learn the art of effective dialogue over a long period of time.
Coping with social anxiety is the key to success
Due to their personal characteristics, some people consciously avoid communication, most of the time they are in voluntary isolation from others. You can get rid of this insidious state if you constantly work on yourself.
There are several reasons why people are afraid to come into contact with unfamiliar people. Among them are:
- self-doubt and low self-esteem – a sociophobe doubts his own beauty, righteousness, speech literacy;
- lack of communication experience – may occur against the background of prolonged loneliness;
- negative experience in the past – mistakes of upbringing, negative attitude of teachers at school, who suppressed any initiative.
You should always start with the reason that triggered your communication problems. Eliminating unfounded fears, increasing self-esteem, expanding the circle of contacts has a beneficial effect on the communication skills of a person, regardless of his age. Learning the basics of the psychology of conversation allows you to feel free from conventions and prejudices.
It is important to realize that there is an intrapersonal conflict that needs to be resolved. The subconscious mind itself will tell you how to act in this case. The help of a professional psychologist guarantees a quick result. Correct communication with people in psychology is a sincere desire to develop in terms of communication, feel others and be positive.
IMPORTANT! Informational article! Before use, you must consult with a specialist.