The psychology of relations between a man and a woman after parting shows that often the period of separation is difficult and painful. Very often, one of the partners has a desire to remind about himself. There are several reasons for this action.
Why the ex-boyfriend reminds of himself: the psychology of men
Parting is always difficult for people. In the first weeks or even months, grievances and pain torment. But gradually time does its job – heals. Life is getting better, and all negative emotions recede. However, in some cases, the past comes back again, because suddenly the ex-boyfriend starts calling or sending SMS messages. When asked why a man reminds of himself, the psychology of men has several answers. Often this action is not associated with returning feelings.
For example, a lot of time has passed since the breakup. The man sees that his ex-girlfriend was able to make her dreams come true (she found a prestigious job, acquired real estate, traveled almost the whole world). He is overcome by envy, because he himself has not achieved anything. He starts calling his ex-lover, asking for forgiveness. In such cases, giving a second chance is not worth it. The man is most likely driven by envy.
There is a special category of proud men. Such people put themselves first in a relationship. They consider themselves ideal, successful. After parting, after a while, they reappear in the lives of the girls. Out of curiosity, men ask their exes how they arranged their lives, whether they could find love again.
Further behavior depends on the responses received:
- The woman said that her life has practically not changed, and she has not yet managed to meet a new love. Such an answer does not hurt male pride. After the conversation, the former disappears again.
- The woman says that she is doing well and that she has found her soul mate. Such an answer hurts the man. Because of his pride, a number of questions arise in his head: “How could she find someone? Did she forget me so quickly? How can her new lover be better than me? ” Judging by the psychology of men when parting, the partner begins to take measures to get his former lover back. However, he does this only in order to prove to himself that he is the best.
If a man shows curiosity after parting, the woman is advised to always keep her head high and not agree to renew the relationship. Returning to the past will not lead to anything good.
By studying psychology, you can understand why exes remind of themselves. Jealousy can push calls and SMS messages addressed to your past darling. After parting with her, male owners encounter. Jealousy arises suddenly and accidentally, and the reason may be a photo of a happy couple – a former lover and her new boyfriend.
After what he saw, a man-owner begins to remember how he spent time with his beloved. Good moments from the past fill the heart with longing and sadness. There is a desire to return everything, to re-fill your life with meaning. The man begins to call, make gifts, invite for walks.
Many women in such situations have a question, is it worth giving a second chance. To find the answer, you need to analyze the past, to understand the reasons for the breakup. If the breakup was associated with any everyday problems or with a desire to understand yourself, then a second chance can be given. Jealousy could awaken love.
In the psychology of parting, another category of men is distinguished – males. Such people, parting with their girls, go in search of new sexual partners. When men do not find a worthy replacement for their former passion, they try to return the past.
It’s easy to understand that the guy is being ruled by sexual dissatisfaction. When he calls, he constantly says compliments, invites home to sit with a cup of coffee, and there are notes of passion and flirting in his voice. A woman should not agree to such offers. After a while, the male male again decides to leave or will change. The most likely result of the resumption of relations is a new break, because of which resentment and pain will again torment.
A situation that is often observed in life: a guy meets a girl. She truly loves him, takes care of him, tries to do something pleasant for him. The guy does not appreciate his girlfriend, pays little attention to her, flirts with other representatives of the fair sex. The result of such a relationship is a break. Years pass after the breakup. The guy realizes that his ex-girlfriend was sent by fate, but at that time he did not understand this and made mistakes. To fix everything, the guy starts calling, looking for meetings.
What to do in such a situation if the ex is constantly reminding of himself: according to the answers of psychologists, one can understand that each girl should decide this independently. If, despite the past years, feelings have been preserved, then it is worth reciprocating, trying to rebuild the relationship. Psychologists do not recommend reuniting with your ex if you feel pity. Such a story will have one end – a break. Only time will be wasted.
When asked why the ex-boyfriend reminds of himself, there is a psychologist’s answer: the reason for this behavior may lie in the fear of being left behind. A man goes in search of a new darling, but at the same time considers his former a backup option, periodically calls her, learns about her plans, affairs, health.
Why does an ex-wife or girlfriend remind of herself: the psychology of women
For the question of why an ex-wife or girlfriend reminds of herself, the following opinion of a psychologist is relevant. Women’s behavior after a breakup depends on the nature and how the breakup occurred:
- The man was the initiator of the separation, and the woman harbored a grudge. Many of the fair sex are insidious. If the former chosen one was like that, then she will wish to take revenge. At first, she will demonstrate a desire to restore relationships and do anything for the sake of her beloved, but when her trick works, she will leave the man.
- The initiator of the breakup is a man or a woman. At the same time, the woman is not offended, she is not going to take revenge. The reason for the constant reminders of yourself may be that the former chosen one has not yet found anyone for herself. She understands that past relationships have outlived their usefulness. Her habit does not allow her to forget about her ex. That is why she periodically calls and sends messages. Another reason to be reminded of yourself can be because of genuine feelings. A woman loves and does not want the relationship to end, and all her dreams of a joint future collapsed.
Is it worth reminding yourself and renewing past relationships?
After parting, people are often tormented by questions whether to remind of themselves and whether to give a second chance. Psychologists advise to be guided by the following algorithm:
- Before taking any action, think about whether it is worth trying to return the person if there is a desire, and whether it is worth returning to the past partner if he asks about it. The reason for the breakup is of great importance. If the partner was disrespectful, could raise his hand, or cheated, then there is no need to resume communication. There is a high probability of occurrence in the future of all those conflicts that were in the past.
- Take your time making decisions. Very often, calls and SMS from the past partner begin to arrive immediately after the breakup. When a man or woman asks to return, you cannot be led by your feelings and emotions. Psychologists recommend taking a break, being apart for a while, and only after that think it over thoroughly.
- Recall all positive and negative events. The psychology of the breakup of relations between a man and a woman testifies that people, thinking about the return of their second half, very often forget about all the bad moments. Only good things are remembered. Before making a decision, it is worth recalling in your memory all the events that preceded the breakup. Only after analyzing all the memories can you decide on the right step. In this case, it is important to be guided by the mind, not the heart.
- Allow the partner to take any action. From them you can understand what the other half wants, whether all past mistakes were really realized, whether the person is ready to change, etc.
Sometimes relationships are so confusing and complex that you can’t figure them out on your own. In such cases, it is recommended to consult a psychologist after parting. He will identify the problematic sides of the relationship, help decide whether partners need to be together, and give recommendations on how to resolve any conflicts.
Possible consequences of renewing a relationship
Negative consequences, as a rule, arise in cases where it was not necessary to restore the previous union. Practice shows that people are faced with betrayal of the second half, deception, constant conflicts, misunderstandings, the disappearance of trust, etc.
It is also important to always remember that a positive result of the renewal of relations is also possible – this is a strong union. It will be for all those couples in whose hearts true love lives, for those people who act sincerely and are ready to change, work on their mistakes. This can be done by contacting a competent specialist, for example, psychologist Nikita Valerievich Baturin.
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