Each person understands love in his own way, which is why problems often arise in the relationship between a man and a woman. At the moment, the psychology of love and relationships does not give a specific definition of this term. Today, professionals in this field distinguish several types of love, which will be discussed below.
Love what is this feeling: psychology
The well-known Russian psychologist A. V. Petrovsky believes that this term means an intense and tense feeling, it manifests itself not only in sexual terms, but is also expressed in a deep desire to complement the life of a partner, causing reciprocity in him.
Social psychology of love: a three-component theory
Based on the philosophy of many psychologists, we can say that this phenomenon covers several feelings at once – joy and sadness, jealousy and hatred, passion and attachment. Back in 78, Canadian sociologist Alan Lee John identified 3 main types of love that arise between a couple in love:
- Mania is an obsessive feeling based on intense passion and jealousy. People belonging to this type of love are constantly living in a stressful state, expecting problems in relationships or creating them on their own. For example, there are women who fall in love only with unavailable or married men, creating a prohibition and intriguing intensity of emotions for themselves.
- Pragma is a calm feeling without flying, most often such a relationship is based on love of convenience. Pragmatists are not always selfish, they are simply guided by their personal life experience, believing that they should be married and treat it like a job, not striving for romance.
- Agape – selfless and desperate love, it manifests itself as a great affection and devotion to the chosen one. Such people think only of their soul mate, taking care of their beloved from all sides, even to the detriment of themselves. Couples who value and value each other are good relationships.
Psychology about love says that real feelings have absorbed 3 of the above terms at once. For the creation and further development of relations, one cannot do without them. True love is manifested by strong physical passion, attraction can reach high limits, that only with the chosen one can you get full sexual satisfaction.
Truly in love people strive for happiness, they treat their halves like little children, they want to constantly delight them, pamper and protect them. The desire to give oneself completely comes from the heart, such people do not regret the time, effort and financial resources spent. A loving person does not expect reciprocity from the other half, he does everything disinterestedly.
Despite this, in society they think differently, if a person loves, then he will receive less than he will give. People are convinced that it is better to be loved than to love themselves. However, love psychology refutes these slogans: it is pleasant for all lovers to take care of the other half: to conquer, perform desperate acts, protect from problems and be near in difficult times.
In psychology, love is not only romance, but also an even greater responsibility for the fate of a partner. Therefore, this feeling is impossible without sincere respect for the second half, you must always take into account the interests of the beloved and reckon with his opinion. Now you understand what love is from the point of view of psychology.
Psychology of love relationships: analysis
German psychologist Erich Fromm wrote another theory in which two types of love are distinguished:
- Love by the principle of being is a fruitful feeling, which implies not only interest in a partner, but also caring for him. It is aimed not only at a person, but also at inanimate objects – a plant, a painting, a house. Such a feeling enriches the personality on a spiritual level, filling it with positive energy, and also generates a desire for action, implying full custody of a partner.
- Love by the principle of possession is a destructive feeling that is born only in passion, it has a negative result and can completely suppress the life of the beloved.
Fromm is sure that love in psychology according to the second principle is characteristic of immature and neurotic individuals. To build a happy marriage, you need to understand and pass through these feelings.
Love is a psychology, a subtle art that needs to be studied in order to gradually build a good relationship for a long time. Partners need to conduct an analysis, identifying their feelings, thoughts and experiences, discuss negative aspects and try to eradicate them. Also, the couple should learn to support each other, be able to listen to their beloved and try to solve the problem together.
Psychology about love and relationships: some interesting facts
In this area, many stereotypes have been created that have been generated by people who have been defeated in love. Most immature individuals live with wrong conclusions from their own experiences, so they cannot create happiness in their personal lives. There are 4 main points here:
- Love isn t just for sexual needs.
Some individuals believe that this feeling is necessary only for procreation and sexual satisfaction. This is the wrong conclusion, with the help of which a person hides his broken heart from strangers. Defeat in love affairs can be comprehended, not at all due to the fact that the partner is not attractive enough. Therefore, a person thinks that there is no love at all or that it is needed only for the sexual instinct.
- It s impossible to live without love
You can play the role of a spouse, even without feeling. Such love is psychologically wrong. It s not worth starting a family for show, you need to try to find your other half and create a reliable marriage based only on love.
- Love depends only on a partner
Psychologists about love say that both partners should keep this fragile feeling and treat each other with reverence. This state arises within the personality, and its other half can simply play along with it. We fall in love not with external data, but with the soul and mind of a person. For example, if a woman wants to broaden her horizons, she may fall in love with a scientist or a foreigner, while his other qualities will be absolutely unimportant to her. But, having ceased to satisfy her needs for knowledge, interest in the chosen one may disappear.
- Love always dies
This legend is invented by people who do not take into account the evolution of feelings. Many individuals make the mistake of mistaking for love what is a common hobby. They confuse this feeling with a primary outburst of emotions, sympathy and attraction to passion. It only seems at first that it is impossible to live without an object of love, time will pass, and everything will disappear. This condition can last for a long time from 1 to 4 years. In fact, only passion always dies, not love. If the initial love after a while did not develop into deep feelings, then it is not worth continuing the relationship further.
- You can only love once
Love, from the point of view of psychology, can only be once, but this does not mean at all that it is impossible to build other relationships. Many people in search of the present can change 3-4 partners in a few years, experiencing tender feelings for each. Spiritually developed individuals can build a romantic relationship with anyone.
What is love: the psychology of relationships
In the absence of a love relationship, one cannot fully open up and know oneself. That is, without love it is impossible to fully understand the depth of your soul.
Professionals believe that in each new novel, you can first of all know your inner world. After all, a partner is just an assistant in the evolution of your personality. Happy people love themselves and life, and their significant other only helps them to enhance these feelings. But unfortunately, there is no such person in the world who could create your inner harmony.
Your mood should not depend on others, only by controlling yourself, you can build a warm relationship with your significant other for the rest of your life.
If the relationship is in danger of breaking, the person in love immediately has a feeling of horror and fear. It is for these reasons that love is mistakenly confused with the source of suffering. You should not strive for symbiotic unity, otherwise you will have to endure any relationship, even if it is very bad.
Love or not?
At the very beginning of any relationship, it is extremely difficult to determine how sincere your feelings for the chosen one are. This can be easily understood when faced with the first difficulties in life.
To answer this question for yourself, you need to try to imagine a difficult situation in which you find yourself with your partner, and then analyze your emotional state. Psychology has proved what love is, for example, if you agree to stay with your other half, if doctors have made a disappointing diagnosis, then you really love this person.
Feeling strong emotional experiences (sadness, sadness, melancholy), if the beloved is bad or, on the contrary, joy, when everything is going well for him, you should realize that you have found love. If you do not care, you do not want to share with the chosen one his victories and adversities, then you do not have any feelings for him.
Many people understand the value of relationships when they are irrevocably lost. This is an effective method of verification – to imagine that you will never be able to see your chosen one again. Sit down and analyze how you are feeling now and can you do without this person? It is psychology: how to understand whether you love or not, will give you the opportunity to understand your feelings.
How do you know if you are loved or not?
Not all people express their thoughts in words, they manifest them in actions. Some of them are shy or do not reveal their feelings, fearing to rush things or for fear of not receiving reciprocity. And many men only know how to speak beautifully, but at the same time they do nothing for their beloved, which means that they are not in love.
To understand whether you are loved or not, you should analyze the behavior and actions of the chosen one:
- the lover often glances at the object of his sympathy, but at the same time averts his eyes;
- a man who is in love tries to demonstrate to a woman all his positive sides;
- a person in love will try to spend a lot of time with his chosen one in order to find out everything about her;
- if a man loves you, he will easily agree to solve all your problems;
- a person in love always admires the appearance of the second half and often compliments her, gives flowers and gifts;
- a loving man will not only dream with you, but also make joint plans for the future.
Our own feelings often close our eyes, so you can ask loved ones what they think of your chosen one. Applying the advice of the psychology of love and relationships, how to understand that you are loved, and analyzing the actions of your beloved, you can determine how he feels about you.
The main secret: the psychology of men in love
There is no need to be upset if you realize that you do not like your chosen one. His heart can be won by embodying 4 images of women at once:
- Maria is an assistant, counselor and soul mate.
- Eva – creates comfort and keeps the hearth, can easily replace the mother.
- Sophia is a muse, a wise woman who can inspire a person to new deeds.
- Elena is a good lover who can enchant a man with her sex appeal.
By combining immediately a reliable friend, a good housewife, a kind mother and an erotic lover, you can achieve the location of any man in a short time. Not a single representative of the strong half of humanity can resist such a woman who can become everything to him. Try it and you will definitely succeed!
IMPORTANT! Informational article! Before use, you must consult with a specialist.