The moment when new relationships are born is wonderful. Butterflies fly in the stomach, all thoughts to the head are only about him. Being in this euphoria, many do not notice the alarming signs, as they are completely immersed in a feeling of love. In this article, we will highlight the points that should be alerted at the beginning of the relationship, so that later you do not have to regret the wasted time.
Relation to your chosen one of relatives and friends
If your friends and family (if you are on good terms with them) do not like the guy, you should listen to them and find out the reason. Ask them for constructive criticism, find out what exactly confuses them. Unlike you, they have no feelings for the chosen one, so they can see lies, pretense, aggression, etc.
Relationships develop too quickly
In such a case, it is worthwhile to be wary, this may indicate that the partner is doing this for selfish purposes. Usually young people look closely and are in no hurry. A guy who is confident in himself and does not hide something terrible from the girl will not rush things. He has no goal to quickly take possession of the girl. Aggressors, gigolos or insecure men strive for a rapid development of events.
He lives by the laws of patriarchy
Such men are sure that a woman should stay at home, raise children and please her husband. Because she is not capable of more. She has no right to freedom of speech, everything else should be done by a man. This approach is, first of all, disrespect for the female sex. Therefore, do not expect that after the wedding you will live happily ever after.
The man claims that they are polygamous by nature.
This suggests that he is not going to be faithful to you. In his world, cheating on the part of a man is the norm, but a woman should not do this in any case. Think about whether you need it? And in this case, do not hope that he will fall in love with you and change his mind – this will definitely not happen.
He doesn’t take you seriously
At a meeting with friends, he can, in front of everyone, allegedly call you a joke or throw criticism in your direction. Or talk about your innermost secret, ridicule you in some other way. Comic blows should also alert, this may indicate that he can raise his hand to the girl without any problems. In a word, if you are not comfortable with him, you feel resentment, he often spoils your mood. It is worth considering whether he really has feelings for you.
Negative reviews of the former
Relationships are the work of two people, so both are to blame when parting. If your boyfriend talks about how bad his ex was, but at the same time makes himself a saint, then this suggests that he is lying. There are times when a man starts comparing you to his ex. In this case, the self-respecting girl will simply get up and leave.
He never admits his guilt
You have already had time to quarrel several times, but he is ready to admit his guilt in what happened. On the contrary, it turns the situation upside down so that in the end you remain guilty. These are the first signs of hidden gaslighting. This situation should also alert you, the main thing at such moments is not to begin to justify his behavior. Otherwise, you will easily end up on the net.
Try to pay attention to these calls so that in the end you do not have to be disappointed in your partner. Most importantly, listen to your body and thoughts. If you experience discomfort or are constantly stressed around him, then most likely this is not what you need. Do not try to justify his actions, because today he may ask for forgiveness for them, and then it will not even occur to him.
Joanna Knicks-Walkup at Unsplas