The family psychologist profession appeared about sixty years ago. A family psychologist is a counselor who provides psychological assistance to couples in a relationship. He has a higher psychological education. A narrow specialization is associated with life situations, difficulties in behavior and peculiarities of relationships.
Family relationships develop in accordance with certain psychological laws. Entering them, people do not know about:
- partner psychology;
- family development crises;
- the cycles along which it develops;
- psychology of adultery;
- don t understand the difference between mature and immature relationships.
A family psychologist helps to resolve difficult relationships between children and parents at any age. The problem that arose 20 years ago, perhaps, does not allow adequate communication with each other at the present time, even if the child is 35 and the parents are 55. A good family psychologist is a person who, having the necessary knowledge, is able to apply it in practice. Competent counseling helps to stabilize family relationships, to protect the family from destruction.
When is the help of a family psychologist needed?
Before paying a visit to a family psychologist, it is necessary to admit that a problem has appeared in the family, which cannot be solved on its own, and it is impossible to continue living with it.
Common problems encountered are:
- Constant quarrels and conflicts. The family cannot find a compromise in solving problems, agree among themselves. When there is a fight in the house, and no one wants to give in, the partners lose interest in each other.
- It s time for young couples to “rub in”.
- Adultery. A crisis in family relationships occurs when spouses stop trusting each other. Sometimes it is just suspicion. It is not always possible to get out of the situation on your own. It is better to use the advice of a psychologist for couples.
- Divorce and stressful situations. A family psychologist will help you in a difficult period, help you make the right decision and get through a difficult stage.
- Problems in relation to children and parents. The generational conflict has always existed. Psychologist s advice on family relationships will help you find a way out, teach you to listen and hear each other.
- Complex relationships between all family members. It is about quarrels between son-in-law and mother-in-law or daughter-in-law and mother-in-law, misunderstanding of the stepfather and stepson.
The success of the work depends on the willingness of the couple to consider the situation together and make a decision together.
How will the situation change after consulting a psychologist on family issues?
Relationship crisis happens in every family. Psychologist s advice will help you painlessly relive the prevailing life moments. Consultations will help:
- acquire skills in discussing emerging problems, teach spouses to negotiate without conflicts;
- restore trust in the family, talk without making claims in relationships.
- understand and accept the partner s shortcomings and their own;
- expectations from the relationship. Each spouse learns to talk about it;
- rapprochement with each other. Understanding the conflict, the couple finds hidden resources to bring the relationship to a new level.
A restored relationship of trust with respect and love is considered a positive outcome of therapy.
How is the appointment with a family psychologist going?
One session of a family relations psychologist lasts for an hour. At this time, a friendly atmosphere reigns in the office, respectful relations and a desire to cope with the problems that have arisen. For some families, two meetings are enough to build relationships, while others overcome the crisis in five sessions. There are times when more than ten meetings are required. The duration is influenced by the problem itself, its severity, time of occurrence, aspiration and readiness to solve it.
Couples come to the reception together or one at a time. It is possible to involve other family members who are involved in the conflict in therapy. Lessons conducted with a couple at the same time are considered more effective. To solve the problem of one in the family, it is necessary to identify all violations in family interactions and develop a program for establishing healthy relationships. The achieved result will be long-term, as the whole family worked on it. Family therapy takes less time than individual therapy.
The first session held will be exciting, unexplored and fraught with fear. The spouses are worried about the format of the questions and answers. However, no prior preparation is required when visiting. Based on the situation, the plan of the conversation is built by the consultant. Talking during the reception is advised about everything that worries. In an individual session, you should not talk about what cannot be repeated in the presence of a partner. The psychologist is not a keeper of such secrets.
Patients answer questions, perform tests and assignments. Not only the genre of conversation is used, they are offered games, fabulous performances. At the end of classes, homework is given. Family members learn new communication, reconsider the distribution of responsibilities for housekeeping. These activities are aimed at providing assistance.
In Russia, part of marriages as a result of disagreements that have arisen ends in divorce. People are in no hurry to see a psychologist, they are frightened by the beginning of the name “psycho” (“soul” – translated from Greek). Some couples have fears about certain moments in life. The psychological culture of the population is growing, but not everyone understands the difference between a psychiatrist, psychologist and psychotherapist. A psychologist is not a doctor, he helps mentally healthy people in solving problems and works in different directions.
It is not within the competence of the consultant to assess and educate the patient. The interview will remain confidential. By acting for the benefit of the couple, the therapist does not take sides. Doesn t insist on discussing issues that the client does not want to discuss. Its mission is to help the whole family find resources to overcome difficulties.
What is the psychological help for the family?
It is possible to talk about the difficulties that have arisen with friends or relatives who will try to find the culprit in the pair. Such conversations will not solve problems; they will increase negativity and tension.
The conversation with family counselors is fundamentally different. The session is built on professional and practical skills. He does not look for the guilty, the task is to unite the couple against the problem, aiming to fight the trouble together. The correct model of conversation is to resolve disagreements without reproach or aggression. The acquired skills will be useful to them in later life. The consultation does not turn into a tiresome showdown.
The psychologist helps the couple to look at the problem from the outside without emotion. He points out to them the existing family reserves, which are hindered by daily conflicts. Helps to break the circle of problems. Positive conversations give strength to fight. They are sometimes compared to “translators” in relationships.
The main advice of a psychologist on family relationships
Family psychologist consultations will help:
- to establish relationships in the family, to overcome the crisis;
- express the accumulated claims and discontent in the form that the interlocutor hears;
- find out the accumulated grievances without conflict;
- make the right decision in the matter of divorce;
- find a common language in the upbringing of children, get advice on upbringing;
- to minimize the problems of communication with the older generation.
Possessing various tools, the psychologist achieves the intended results in the work. They do not give a 100% guarantee, in which direction the changes will take place, time will tell.
IMPORTANT! Informational article! Before use, you must consult with a specialist.